Online dating just isn’t for me.
I went to a networking event yesterday, and I met a guy who seemed to like me, but he wasn’t my type. The awkwardness of this brought back memories of the three dates I went on with guys I met online.
One guy was nice, but he reminded too much of someone in my family.
The other guy showed up after having biked there, in exercise clothes, and went to the washroom at least five times.
The third guy would not carry on a conversation. I’m not exaggerating when I say that he said less than three sentences.
My last online dating stint almost led to a couple dates, but one guy got way too clingy before we even met. He kept texting me “good morning” and, although maybe that’s considered cute if you’re dating, I found it weird since, again, we’d never met in person.
Another guy said my pictures were amazing and then immediately asked me out. Now, when I told some of this to my friend who’s better at online dating then I am, she said, “That’s normal! Some guys don’t like to talk endlessly.” Fair, but in real life I’d exchange more than one sentence with someone before deciding to go on a date with him.
That’s the problem. Online dating isn’t real life.
I maybe have already mentioned this on my blog, but Will Smith made a great point in the movie Hitch:
“Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; thirty percent is your tone. So that means that ninety percent of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth.”
Online dating takes away 90% of communication, and that’s after you’re actually chatting.
Before that, you have to contort your personality into a profile a few pictures.
I can’t share who I am with a dating profile, and I’m far too judgmental to reserve judgment on other people’s dating profiles until I meet them in person. To be fair to myself and other women, this is also a safety issue. I can tell almost immediately if someone is creepy when I meet them in person.
It might seem like I’m being picky, but telling someone they should lower their standards isn’t a good idea.
I used to think I should lower my standards, but then I realized the opposite of this would be if a guy told me that he used to think he wanted someone amazing, but then he lowered his standards and decided to date me instead.
Plus, things that might sound okay if you meet someone in person sound awful when 90% of communication is gone, like “You like nice” (“Great pictures!”).
I only know one couple who met online where it worked out. Everyone else I know met at work, school, church, dancing, on a bus, or at bar or at a party. I’m not saying those are the only ways to meet people. I’m also using a matchmaking service and, if events stop getting cancelled, I might eventually try speed-dating.
There’s lots of ways to meet people, but I won’t meet someone online.