To blog or to vlog? That is the question.
I thought about doing a video about this (yes, I’m a YouTuber now), but I decided against it, because I wanted to be somewhat anonymous. I don’t want the guy I’m talking about here to feel bad, because he’s a nice guy, but going on a date with him was what finally made me happy that I’m single. Not just okay with being single, not just tolerating being single, but happy.
I’m turning 30 in June. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never kissed anyone. I’m trying to think right now of the number of dates I’ve been on: there was one guy in college, maybe another guy in university, three dates from online dating apps, and a couple other dates, all with different guys. I don’t think any of these guys wanted to go out with me again, which works, because I didn’t want to see them again.
When you assume…
I find that guys see how I look and make assumptions. Many of them seem surprised that I’m smart and that I’m religious. The four main things that I’m looking for in a guy are Christian, someone I’m attracted to, a sense of humour, and intelligence. I don’t think my standards are high, but maybe they are because I haven’t met anyone yet.
For the first time, though, I’m actually happy about that.
What am I really missing out on?
I thought about what not being in a relationship means: I don’t have a specific person to spend holidays with, I have less money, and I’m no one’s favourite person.
However, I still have my friends and family, I think I’ll be able to start making money with my blog and YouTube (but it will never be a full-time career; I already have my dream job at my dream company), and I can be my own favourite person.
I also don’t want to just have a relationship. I want to meet someone amazing who I can spend my life with. I truly believe that if God wants this to happen, it will.
Changing my perspective, but not my standards
I have an image in my head of the perfect guy. I don’t know if I’ll ever meet someone like that, but even if I don’t, my life is still amazing. I have a great job. I have wonderful friends and a great family. I have my blog and YouTube channel, and I’m just really happy with how everything is going.
I used to think that by this point in my life, I’d be married with kids. I used to be devastated that this hadn’t happened. Now I realize that all being single means is that I haven’t met my person yet, and that’s okay. Maybe one day I’ll meet him, or maybe I won’t. Either way, I’m happy being single.